


It's a Bit Personal

by Lozey



Series: Trans!Alexander [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Dysphoria, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Smut, Some lams - Freeform, Trans!AU, but later on, main pairing is Jamilton, trans!alex, will be thoughts of the body though, wink wonk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:24:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lozey/pseuds/Lozey
Summary: Alexander moved to America for the chance at a new life, a new beginning, a new name. He just wants to focus on getting through college first before thinking about anything else. Alex didn't count on making friends, especially ones who supported him despite his gender identity. He certainly didn't count on falling in love, especially with Thomas Jefferson.





	1. First day, First friend

The loud buzzing of a phone alarm wasn’t the first thing to wake Alexander up. The first to wake him up was the loud giggling of girls outside of his dorm room. 

He grumbled, grabbing a pillow and pulling it over his head to try and drown them out, only to have his phone go off seconds later. He sat quickly, glaring over at his phone, willing it to turn itself off. Alas, to no avail, his intense glaring didn’t even make the damned thing budge, so he grabbed it himself and turned off the alarm with a quick swipe to the home screen. As soon as the buzzing stopped, he slumped back under his covers, mentally debating with himself if today was worth it enough to actually get out of bed and go to his classes. That only last about a minute however before he threw off his covers and stumbled out of bed and over to his small dresser set up by the window.

Alex got dressed quickly, sure to avoid looking at himself in the full length mirror he kept by his desk. He squeezed into his binder and pulled on a loose t-shirt and some nice fitting jeans, brushed his teeth, pulled his long hair back into a ponytail before grabbing his things and heading out for his first day of classes.

Columbia University was one of the many large colleges in New York City. However, this is the one college who would accept Alex and give him a full ride scholarship. He would have rathered to have gone to Princeton, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers and Alex was more than willing to go to any college for free at this point.

Alexander had come all the way from Nevis in the Caribbean. At twelve, he lost his mother to a fatal illness, and the only doctor on the island couldn’t do anything to help her. Alex had gotten sick as well, but he had miraculously survived, something he felt he shouldn’t have been allowed to survive. He mourned for his mother and was then moved in to live with his cousin, who committed suicide only two years later. Alex, devastated, was then shoved into the foster program on St. Croix, Christiansted, which was a nightmare he would rather not relive anytime soon. When he was older, however, he got a job. He didn’t get paid a lot, but it was better than nothing.

At seventeen, a hurricane destroyed his entire town. Once again, he was devastated. His birthplace was reduced to rubble, only having a few places that were mostly untouched by the immense storm. Instead of wallowing in his pain, he took to writing everything he saw throughout the storm and anything after. He published it in the local newspaper and the town’s more wealthy folks were awestruck and decided he needed a better education in America. So, America was where he was headed only a month later, away from his home for the rest of his life.

It only took him about five minutes to walk from his dorms to his first classes, which was pretty lucky for him seeing how he was the first to arrive to the classroom and was given prime seat choosing possibilities, so of course he chose the front row of seats of the lecture hall.

Alex pulled out his books he ordered for the class and some paper and a pen to take notes with, setting them aside to pull out his class schedule and look over who he had for the rest of the day.

  * Washington, George. US Law History 101, 9:00 AM - 11: AM m/w
  * Lee, Charles. Economics 101, 12:00 PM - 3:00 PM m/w
  * Seabury, Samuel. Intercultural Communication  3:30 PM - 4:30 PM m/w



And that was only the classes for Monday and Wednesday. In total he had six classes, which he was warned was pretty hard to juggle, but Alex was not a quitter and he needed to graduate as quickly as he could if he wanted to get anywhere in life, especially in America.

His train of thought was abruptly interrupted when he heard loud laughter from the hall. Alex glanced up from his class sheet to see this guy laughing with a friend of his. He rolled his eyes and went back to mentally scheduling his routine when he was once again interrupted by the same guy, who seemed to not have a sense of the ‘inside voice’. Alexander glanced up again only to be slightly disappointed when he realized that loud mouthed college kid was coming his way, waving goodbye to the friend he was joking with. The boy turned around and finally noticed Alex sitting alone in the front row, smiled, and walked right up to him.

“Hey buddy, mind if I take a seat?” he asked with a southern drawl, a smirk across his face. Alex’s hair on the back of his neck rose, deciding then and there that he really didn’t like this guy. Maybe it was that smirk, or the way he held himself. But, hey, it was the first day and Alex didn’t want to make an enemy right out of the batting cage, so he just motioned to the seat next to him and the guy smiled, this time more genuinely, before taking his seat right next to Alex.

While the new guy was pulling stuff out of his backpack, Alex was able to get a good look at him without being weird about it. He had dark skin and a beard, five o’clock shadow? He didn’t know what to call it, but it was perfectly trimmed and shaped his face nicely. He had kind of long, curly hair that fell around his shoulders and, yeah, Hamilton could admit that the guy was actually pretty handsome.

The stranger turned swiftly to look back at Hamilton, causing Alex to shrink back and divert his gaze. The man laughed lightly, “Sorry, not liking what you see?” He teased.

Alex ground his teeth together. There was no way he was going to like being around this guy for longer than two seconds, but he also didn’t want to open his mouth to talk to him in case this guy mistook Alex for a girl. So he settled for just shrugging his shoulders.

He could hear the stranger let out a huff of air before he spoke again, “What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?” to which Alex responded with just a shake of his head.

There was a long, awkward pause before Alex felt the guy tapping on his shoulder. He begrudgingly looked up at him, frowning, only to have the other smiling, “Should probably start with introductions then? Thomas Jefferson, a pleasure, I’m sure.”

Alex’s expression changed from annoyance to confusion. Was this guy for real? Was he really introducing himself like this? He shook his head, trying to clear it of wanting to punch that smirk off of ‘Thomas Jefferson’s’ face.

“Alexander Hamilton.” He said quietly, hoping that this Thomas guy didn’t question why his voice sounded like a 10 year old before hitting puberty.

Alas, if only his life were so easy. Jefferson looked a little taken aback by the voice coming out of Alex’s mouth. It was a common reaction, because despite not being on testosterone and having long hair, Alex passed pretty well! That was until he opened his mouth to speak. He had a deeper voice for someone in his situation, even not being on T, but even then it just wasn’t enough. It was still too soft, too feminine, too  _ wrong.  _ And he couldn’t help that.

Before Thomas could say anything, Alex looked away, trying to hide his blush. He really should have just said nothing. Wrote it down perhaps, but that would make him come off as weird. He had made his choice and would have to suffer the consequences.

“Hah, sorry, didn’t realize you were a girl.” Thomas said, and Alex could just hear that smirk in his voice.

Alex clenched his fist and looked back around to Thomas, “I’m not a girl.” He said defiantly.

Thomas raised an eyebrow, looking way too cocky for his own good. “Oh?” He said, “I didn’t realize they were accepting children into college at such an early age! Shit, how old are you?”

Alex bristled, about to stand and demand an apology from this jerk before he heard coughing from the doorway. The both looked over to see another classmate with long curly, poofy hair pulled back in a pony tail. He wore a simple button up and jeans and his face was covered in freckles. He looked awkwardly between Jefferson and Hamilton before making his way to the opposite side of Hamilton’s side and taking a seat there next to him. Hamilton wanted to slam his head against the desk at the arrival of the other boy, thinking it was going to be another bigot, but when the boy sat down he leaned towards Alexander and whispered low enough so that Thomas couldn’t hear them.

“Don’t waste your breath on that asshole, he’s not worth it.”

Alex looked over and was struck with a beautiful smile from the other boy. Alexander couldn’t help but smile back.

“Name’s John Laurens,” The new kid, John, greeted quietly.

Alex blushed a little bit, “Alexander Hamilton.” He whispered back.

John nodded, “It’s nice to meet you.” he said, flashing another beautiful smile at Alexander, who felt his heart do a little flip in his chest.

Alex didn’t know what to say next, and John seemed busy pulling things from his backpack, so Alex just sat back in his seat and fidgeted with his thumbs until more students started filing into the class. Alex chanced another glance at Thomas Jefferson, who had his phone out and was texting someone. Alex rolled his eyes, really hoping that this Jefferson fellow didn’t disrupt him in his pursuit of knowledge.

Finally, only a minute before class was supposed to start, the teacher walked in, messenger bag hanging at his side and the same books that Alexander had for class in his hands. He walked over to the desk and set his things down before turning to the class and addressing them fully.

“Hello everyone, and welcome to your first day of Law History. I’ll be your professor, Mr. Washington.” Washington said before rifling through his files and pulling out a sheet of paper. “I’ll call attendance at the beginning and of class, and we’ll have a 15 minute break halfway through so any of you can stretch your legs or go get a snack. If you leave class and do not come back after the break and after I call attendance again, you will be marked absent from the entire day. Any questions?” All that followed was silence. Washington smiled, “Good. Now.” He looked down at his attendance sheet and started calling out names, marking down the ones who were absent, before he got to Alexander, called him out, and then moved on.

After he called attendance he started going over the course syllabus, requirements for turning in essays, what to read in the books for the next class, and assignments he has set up on the school website. It was all so exciting for Alexander that he could barely contain himself, he was practically vibrating in his seat. Finally he was in college, he was in classes, he had his own dorm room all to himself, and he was going to make something out of himself!

Class ended all too quickly for Hamilton, Washington having dismissed everyone early seeing how he spent majority of the time going over class rules and regulations. Alexander sighed, going to put his things away when Washington clearing his voice caught his attention.

Alex looked up, worried that he had done something wrong when the only people left in the room were him, John, and the teacher.

“Alexander, right? Can I speak to you before you leave?” Washington asked.

Alex glanced around the room, ready for an out, when he caught eyes with John. “I’ll wait for you outside.” John said, rather unexpectedly. Alex nodded and then looked back at Washington, them being alone now.

“Oh don’t worry, Hamilton, I just want to talk about that email you sent me before the semester began.” Washington said, leaning against his desk.

Alexander let out a sigh of relief. “Right. Thank you for asking me about that.”

“I just want you to know that I fully support you and your gender identity, and if I ever slip with your pronouns, I do apologize.” Washington said. “You do prefer male pronouns, correct?”

Alex finished putting his things away. “Thank you, sir.” He said, looking over at Washington. “I really appreciate it. I’ve been really nervous starting college here and everything…”

“So I’ve heard. You’ve come all the way from Nevis, correct? That's quite a way for someone to go to college.”

“Hah, well there was nothing left for me in Nevis, sir. Rather try my hand at American schools for a change.” Alex joked, slinging his backpack over his shoulders.

Washington chuckled, “Right you are, my boy. Anyway, get along with you, sorry to have kept you.”

“Oh, no need to be sorry, sir, thank you for reading my email.” Alex replied and walked over to the door, waving goodbye to professor Washington. He exited the room and found John leaning against the wall. John noticed Alex leaving and stood straight and made his way over to his friend.

“So, what was that all about?” John asked as soon as the two were alone.

“Oh. Nothing important.” Alex said quickly, not wanting to bring up the fact that he was trans. He was at least hoping to pass well enough in front of his new friend. 

“Alright, but hey can I see your class list? I want to see if we have anything else together aside from Washington.” John said, scooting up closer to Alexander.

Alex felt his skin ripple with excitement at being closer to John, so he pulled out his class list from his pocket and unfolded it, handing it to John.

John took the list from his hands and looked it up and down, “Oh, we both have Tench Tilghman on Thursdays and Fridays together… Jesus man, how many classes are you taking?” John said suddenly, eyeing the list skeptically.

Alex flushed, “Just six, the school board wouldn’t let me take any more than that though just because I’m a freshman.”

John laughed, “‘Just six’, he says!” John exclaimed, patting Alex on the back. “You have classes back to back until, like, 5:00, dude.”

Alex shrugged, “Well, yeah, what do you expect? I gotta graduate sometime this century.”

John let out a loud laugh, and Alex smiled back up at him. “Oh gosh, you’re funny.” John said. “Hey after you get out of classes tonight, want to come have dinner with me in the cafeteria? I know it ain’t much, but I have some friends who followed me here from highschool and I think you’d like ‘em! I’m actually rooming with one of them. If you want you can invite your dorm mate, don’t want them to feel left out.”

Alex smiled at John, “Alright, sure, I’ll take you up on that offer. Here-” He pulled out his phone, “Give me your number so I can text you when I’m done with classes and we can meet up. Oh, and don’t worry about my dorm mate, I don’t have one.”

John’s eyes sparkled with excitement and he pulled out his phone. They exchanged numbers quickly, sending each other text confirmations.

“So, why don’t you have a roommate?” John finally asked.

“Oh, something about her dropping out? Or something like that. Either way, I have the dorm to myself now, which never happens.” Alexander said.

“Her? I didn’t think they allowed boys and girls to share dorm rooms.”

Alex froze, realizing his mistake. How could he be so stupid as to let that one tiny detail slip? He looked up at John, who was still pondering over what Alex had said and pulled out his phone as quickly as he could, “Oh! Look at the time.” Alex said with mock surprise. “I have to hurry on to my next class. I’ll text you whenever I get out!” And with that he rushed away from John before he could make a bigger fool of himself.

The rest of the day, fortunately, passed without further incident. John texted him a couple of times, mostly just saying hello and asking how he was doing, and Alex would text back whenever he wasn’t in class. When he got out of his last class of the day, he rushed over to his dorm rooms, on the other side of campus, and pulled off his binder, which by the end of the day was giving him chest problems.

Alex honestly didn’t think he could wear that for the rest of the night, especially if he was going to go have dinner with his new friend. So he grabbed the biggest hoodie he had and slipped it on. He checked himself in the mirror, deciding he looked flat chested enough, sent a quick text to John to let him know he was on his way to the cafeteria, and dashed out of his rooms and down the halls.

He arrived at the cafeteria and spotted John standing to the side, looking around. When John spotted Alexander, he waved him over and Alex scurried over to John’s side.

John wrapped his arms around Alexander’s shoulders in a tight hug. Before Alex could even comprehend that his new friend was hugging him so easily, john pulled away and smiled brightly.

“Glad you could make it!” John exclaimed, putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder and ushering him over to a table where two other boys were sitting and chatting with each other, their dinners half finished in front of them. “You’re going to love Lafayette and Hercules, they’re some of the best people I know.” John said.

“Hey guys! This is Alexander…” John paused, “I’m sorry, I forgot your last name..” John admitted, blushing lightly.

Alex smiled and turned to the two other boys, whose attention was now on Alexander. He puffed out his chest a little bit, “Name’s Alexander Hamilton. Nice to meet you guys.” he said, mustering the deepest voice he could without sounding stupid.

The first one to respond was a boy with his hair pulled up in a tight pony tail. His skin was dark and his eyes sparkled with mischief. “Bonjour, I am Lafayette, it’s a pleasure to meet you. John here has been talking about a new friend since this morning.” Lafayette teased, his voice had a heavy french accent.

At that, the boy who sat across from Lafayette reached his arm across and shoved at him playfully, making the french teen giggle. “Oh don’t embarrass John-boy like that, Laf.” He said, turning his smiling face to Alexander. “Name’s Hercules Mulligan, but you can just call me Herc.”

John huffed next to Alex and crossed his arms. “Come on guys, it wasn’t since this morning.”

Lafayette laughed and pulled out his phone, “Really, Mon cher? Because I have the texts to prove you wrong.”

John’s face went bright red and he shoved at his friend. “Oh just scoot over so Alex and I have a place to sit, will ya?” he whined, scooting next to Lafayette, who was still laughing, and pulled in Alex to sit with them.

“So, tell us about yourself, Alex! What classes are you taking?” Hercules asked.

“Oh, um.” Alex stuttered, pulling out his class list he had shown John earlier. “Here they are.”

Hercules grabbed the paper and raised his eyebrows. “Six classes? Fuck, man, you tryin’ to kill yourself in the first week? What are you majoring in anyway?”

Alex chuckled. “Double majoring in Law and economics.” He replied.

Lafayette spoke up next, “Well, I do not envy the workload that you will be taking on, Alexander.” He said and then started picking at his rice that he had abandoned on his plate. “How on earth do you think this is going to work, I shall have no clue.”

Hercules laughed, “Don’t give him doubts.” he turned and winked at Alex. “I’m sure you can handle yourself perfectly well.”

Alex grinned, “Oh, don’t worry, I know I can.”

John burst out laughing, “Well someone’s being modest,” He joked, then poked Alex in the side, “Scoot over, I need to go get dinner, I’m starving.”

“Oh, me too.” Alex said, and right on cue, his stomach let out a low gurgle. The boys at the table laughed and Alex blushed, “Hey I haven’t even, like, all day.”

Hercules held up his hands in defense. “Hey, I ain’t judgin’. You do you, man.”

Alex chuckled before sliding out of the booth they were in and followed John over to where the food was.

After days of letting his nerves get the better of him, Alex hadn’t been eating, but now that he was all settled and had his first day of classes he was reinvigorated, and  _ starving.  _ He piled his plate high with all kinds of foods, following John around excitedly, and John only getting a few things. A measly portion compared to Alex’s plate of food.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you hadn’t eaten all day.” John commented, gesturing down at the huge pile of food on Hamilton’s tray.

Alex sneered, “Oh shoosh, I’m allowed to live.”

John laughed again, a sound that Alex was really starting to love. They made their way back to the table with Lafayette and Hercules and sat down to eat.

The rest of the night passed without incident. Alex, John, Lafayette, and Hercules talked for a couple of hours before Alex had to excuse himself so he could go and study. They all exchanged numbers and John hugged him goodbye, leaving Alex feeling like he was floating on air all the way back to his dorm.

He went to bed late that night, feeling wonderful and fuzzy. His last thought before falling asleep that was of his new life in college and being incredibly happy.


	2. To the Rally!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets invited to a peaceful protest in response to the bathroom laws in North Carolina, of course he has to get through the week before he can go.

The cool breeze from outside wafted into Alexander’s room, rustling the papers on his desk. Alex looked up from his homework and leaned up and forward to look out his window and down into the courtyard. The wind picked up again and blew a soft breeze against his heated cheeks.

The beginning of the school year was always the hottest out of any other time of the year, and Alex welcomed the cool air into his room.

sitting back in his seat with a huff, Alex rubbed at his sleep deprived eyes. It was just the first month into school and already he was exhausted beyond reason. He didn’t  _ regret  _ his decision to take on six classes as a freshman, but Alex would be damned if it wasn’t kicking his ass six ways to sunday.

He looked down at all the homework he completed and sighed, standing up and stretching. It had been awhile since he left his dorm room, and it was a Saturday, everyone who lived in state having run off for the weekend to be back home with their folks. He could ask John to hang out for a bit before having to shovel away at more homework.

Grabbing his phone he sent a quick text to John.

**Alex:** Hey! Want to hang out? Taking a break from homework.

**John:** Sure thing buddy! Want to meet in cafeteria?

**Alex:** Yep! Be there in 5

**John:** See you :)

Alex smiles at the text and takes off his shirt, putting his binder on, throwing his shirt back on. He grabs his keys and his wallet and leaves his dorm room and makes his way down to the cafeteria.

Hamilton gets there within five minutes, and only about a minute later John shows up and runs up next to Alex.

“Hey!” He exclaims, hugging Alex. Hamilton hugged him back, smiling into his shoulder.

“Hey. Want to grab something to eat?” Alex asked, holding up his meal card. John nodded, leading the way to the dining area where they grab their plates of food and and found a seat, hidden away in a small corner.

“So what’s up, bud? How’s the homework coming?” John asks around a mouthful of food.

Alex shrugs. “It’s coming. I just needed a break from it. I’ve been doing nothing but that for the past few days.”

John swallowed his food. “That’s gross dude. You need to take a ‘Me Day’.”

“Wish I could!” Alex laughs, “But with taking all the classes that I’m taking, I need to be on my A game, you know? Anyway, I take time for myself. Like now.”

“With me here with you?”

“Well, I like being around you.” Alex confessed, smiling.

John blushes, coughing around his fork full of food. “You’re too nice, Alex.”

Alex takes a bite of his lunch and hums happily, “And you love me for it.”

“You know me so well,” He smiles back, taking a sip from his soda. “Anyway, you got anything planned for next weekend?”

Alex takes a moment to think. “Uh, homework? I don’t get out a lot, John.”

“So I’ve heard. Anyway, there’s this rally happening in downtown for LGBTQA+ rights. You know about those bathrooms laws passed in North Carolina, right? Well, a lot of people are protesting in support. Me, Laf, and Herc are going, and I thought you might want to come with us?” John asked.

Alex raised his eyebrow. “Of course I know about that stupid fuckin’ law, John.” He said, “Do you know what time it is?”

John blushed, “Right! Sometimes I forget that your trans, Alex.” He laughed, “It's around 9:00 at night. Whatya say?”

Alex leans back in his seat, thinking. “If I get my homework done in time, I’d love to go!” He says.

John claps his hands together happily. “Awesome! Oh I’m so excited!” He exclaims. “I’ve only been to a couple of rallies, but I’m so happy to be going to one with you, Alex.”

Alex blushed a bright red. “Me too...” He said quietly. He grabbed his glass of water, drinking more than half. “Oh. Um, I’m going to go get some more water. Be right back?”

John chuckled. “I hope you hydrate yourself while you do homework, Alex.”

“I mean, sometimes?” Alex said, “If I drink water all the time, the more trips to the bathroom, the less work I get done. See my issue?”

John laughed loudly, slapping the table. “Oh my god, you’re so ridiculous! Go! Go get your water, you dehydrated man, you.”

Alex smiled widely and scooted out of the booth they were in. Walking over to the fountain drink machine, he helped himself to more water. He took a long gulp before smacking his lips and refilling his cup once again.

“Honestly, James, you’d think those idiots would know a thing about general law, or how the economy works  _ at all _ .” A familiar voice drifted into the cafeteria.

Alex froze, gritting his teeth. Of all the people who stayed behind for the weekend, Thomas-fucking-Jefferson had to be one of them. Alex turned around stiffly, looking around for that annoying voice that rang out. He spotted Jefferson and his friend, James Madison, in line for food.

James Madison, shorter than his best friend, sniffled, his never ending sickness apparent in his appearance. Although he held himself straight, but he always had tired eyes and you’d be hard pressed to find tissues that weren’t sticking out of his well tailored pockets. Alex wondered if he ever felt well in his entire life. He took another sip of his water, watching the pair skeptically.

Thomas Jefferson, who was a lot taller than James, was wearing a hideously pink button up. Alex grimaced. Why did he think that was a wise fashion choice? The only thing that looked good on him was his jeans; at least he didn’t have pink  _ jeans. _

Alex was slowly growing angry just watching the two talk to each other. It may only have been a month, but Alex was pretty sure he could live for another one hundred years and  _ still _ hate Jefferson to the pits of his stomach. He might be over exaggerating, but he didn’t care. Jefferson was a bigoted asshole with no respect for basic human rights.

He decided to try and keep Thomas out of his mind. At least the asshole wasn’t directing his jerkiness towards him. So Alex finished getting his water and made his way back to John.

As he walked past Jefferson, Thomas noticed him and a big grin spread across his face. Alex glared at him and walked faster, the last thing he saw of Jefferson was of him winking at Alex. Oh if he could punch that stupid look off of his face, he would.

He slumped back in his seat across from John, huffing angrily.

John looked up from his phone. “You’re back, I was about to call someone to go find you.”

“Sorry, I was busy glaring daggers at Jefferson. God I hope he trips or something and hits his pretty little face.”

John smiled a little. “If it makes you feel better, I hope so too. That guy has no fuckin’ class.”

Alex threw up his arms, “Right?! He makes me sick, I wish we didn’t have two classes together. And he  _ always  _ insists on sitting next to me.”

John spat a little, “What, why the fuck would he?”

Alex shrugged dramatically. “Spite?”

“That sounds about right.” John chuckled, “You two are always buttin’ heads.”

“We wouldn’t have to if he just shut his big stupid mouth for once.” Alex grumbled, glowering down at his food.

John shrugged apologetically. “Hey, don’t let that guy ruin our ‘us’ time, ok?” He said, leaning forward. “Let’s finish eating and go to the park, ok?”

Alex blushed, slinking back into his seat. “Sounds like a plan.”

The next week reared its head around the corner and Wednesday came faster than Alexander expected. He only needed to get through two more classes before he’d get to go back to his dorm and get to do all the homework he needed to get done for the day.

He was, of course, the first to show up, having left early from being with John to make it to Lee’s class before it started.

Charles Lee, his Economics teacher, was probably one of the worst teachers in the history of teachers. How he actually got a job at a place like Columbia University was so far beyond Alex that he figured Lee probably knew a guy who knew a guy to get a teaching job there. Alex  _ hated  _ Charles Lee. He was a coward, an idiot, and boasted way too much about great he was. And for some odd reason he vehemently despised Washington, Hamilton’s favorite teacher of all time. So it would come to reason that Alex and Lee would never, ever get along. Plus, Charles Lee was just the biggest idiot on the face of planet earth. Alex couldn’t help it if everything that came out of that moron’s mouth was one hundred and one percent wrong all the time.

And the worst thing about Lee’s class wasn’t just his stupidity, but the fact that he had Mr. Thomas-I’m-Too-Perfect-And-Smart-That-I-Can’t-See-Past-My-Own-Ego-Jefferson.

Speaking of which, just as Alex was taking his seat in the front row, Thomas strutted his way into the room. Alex didn’t even bother looking up, hoping that Thomas wouldn’t sit by him today.

“Oh, Alexander Hamilton,” Thomas exclaimed, “A pleasure to see you, as always.” He drawled sarcastically. 

Alex responded by glaring up at him, and Thomas just smirked. He was always smirking! Thomas slung his backpack off of his shoulders and, of course, plopped down in the seat right next to Alex.

“Fuck off Thomas, go sit somewhere else for once.” Alex growled out at Jefferson.

“Touchy!” Thomas sneered, “Shouldn’t little caribbean rats realize by now that America is a free country? I’ll sit where I want.”

Alex took out his books from his bag and slammed them on his desk. “Don’t you have to be an asshole somewhere else?” Alex spat.

“Not ‘til 4:00, sweetheart.” Thomas drawled, taking out his books as well. “Little girls like you should learn their manners.”

Alexander gripped the edge of his desk, his knuckles going white. He tried to control his breathing as best he could, trying even harder not to punch Jefferson in the face for misgendering him. He glared up at Jefferson who had a sly smile on his face. Alex took a deep breath.

“Didn’t realized they raised pigs like you in Virginia, Jefferson.” Alex replied.

Thomas frowned, and Alex smiled. Finally he got under his skin. Thomas opened his mouth to respond to Alex’s taunt, but just as he was about to say something, Charles Lee walked into the class. Both Thomas and Alex groaned at the same time, glared at each other, then turned their heads away in a huff.

Charles Lee eyed both of them skeptically. “Having issues, boys?”

Thomas scoffed, “Course not, Lee.”

Alex looked up at his teacher and mumbled, “No sir.”

Lee raised an eyebrow before shrugging, putting his things on his desk. “Maybe you two will actually behave yourselves today instead of interrupting me every five seconds?” he asked sarcastically.

At the same time, Thomas and Alex muttered, “Not likely.”

If there was one redeeming thing about Thomas Jefferson, it’s that he hated Charles Lee almost as much as Alex did. At least they had one thing in common.

Class went by too slowly and three o’clock couldn’t come sooner. Alex interrupted and called Lee out only a few times, which was him being generous. He just didn’t feel like talking after Thomas called him a girl.

The minute the bell rang, He packed up his things as quickly as he could and dashed out of the room without a backwards glance, making it for his last class of the day.

 

\-----------------------

 

The day of the rally was going to be a good day, Alex was determined to make it so. 

He was going to go to this rally, which was more like a peaceful protest than anything, and show his support for his trans brothers and sisters in North Carolina. He was going to hang out with his best friends and be  _ happy. _

Which was kind of hard when his dysphoria was skyrocketing.

Alex tried to ignore it, but that only seemed to be making it worse. He wanted to get it out of his head, but of course it just wouldn’t leave.

It was only 2:00, though, and they all didn’t have to leave for the rally until around 7:00 that night. Maybe doing some homework would help get Alex’s mind off of his body image issues.

So he sat himself down at his desk and took out everything he needed to finish for the weekend. He pulled out his laptop and opened a new word document in google docs before starting one of his essays.

Alex worked for hours at a time, lost in his homework. Occasionally, he would get up to go to the bathroom, but other than that he just worked through the day.

He was deep in the throws of his history textbook when he was jolted out of his trance when his phone buzzed. He blinked a couple of times, not realizing how long he was under, before grabbing his phone and reading the texts he was getting.

**John:** You almost ready for the rally?

Alex cocked an eyebrow and looked at the time: 6:45 PM

**John:** Let's meet in courtyard

**John:** Bringing some other friends you might like to know

**John:** You’ve met Burr, right?

**Alex:** Yeah I know Burr. We have a class together.

**Alex:** I don’t talk to him much though. Why?

**John:** Oh he’s like you! Gender wise. Except I think he’s on testosterone???

**Alex:** Oh cool! So you’re bringing him?

**John:** Yep! And the schuyler sisters.

**Alex:** Angelica is coming?

**John:** With Peggy and Eliza. I think Eliza is bringing her girlfriend?? We have a big group and I did not plan for this.

Alex laughed at the text. He remembered meeting the Schuyler sisters when he went to his first rainbow club meeting. Angelica was a firecracker, a force to be reckoned with. Alex loved her the moment he saw her. Not in the romantic sense, he still has way too many feelings for John, but he knew this was a woman worth something. She was smart, witty, funny, and beautiful.

Don’t even get Alex started on Angelica’s sisters. Eliza Schuyler was probably the kindest person in the entire universe and Alex just beamed when he was around her. She was so thoughtful and nice and giving, it was no wonder Maria fell in love with her. Alex had to agree that Maria and Eliza were the cutest couple ever.

And then there was Peggy, a fellow trans person. Peggy was brave and cute, but she was also so shy and quiet. However, when she was around people she loved and trusted, her full personality burst out and she was the funniest person Alex could think of.

Although He had only known them for a few weeks, he felt so close to them already and was glad to count them as his good friends.

**John:** Be at meeting spot in 5. We’re taking Herc’s car.

**Alex:** Be down soon!

He tossed his phone onto his bed and started getting ready. He slipped into his binder and put on his usual clothes: T-shirt, jeans, hoodie. Checking how he looked in his mirror, he gave himself a mental thumbs up, then grabbed his things and left for the courtyard to meet up with John and the rest of their friends.

When he arrived, John was there with Hercules and Lafayette, who were standing close together, talking idly. John was eyeing the both of them before he spotted Alex and waved him over. Alex smiled and jogged over to his friends.

“Finally!” John said, hugging Alex. “We can head out now. I hope we can find parking though.”

Hercules looked over with a big smile on his face, “My man!” He said, hopping over and hugging Alex. “You came out of hiding!”

“Yeah, duh.” Alex laughed, “For something as important as this? Of course I did!”

“Oui, mon cher!” Lafayette exclaimed excitedly. “I’m so happy you could come, little lion!”

Alex blushed at the nickname, something Laf had come up with after knowing Alex for only a couple of days. “So, are we meeting Bur and the Schuyler sisters and Maria here as well?” Alex asked.

Herc put an arm around Laf’s shoulders and drew him in close. “Yeah. Thank god I have a big enough car for all you guys because if not we’d be fucked.”

John pursed his lips at Herc and Laf. “Yeah, anyway-” He turned to Alex, “They should be here in a minute or so. I just texted them.”

As if on cue, the Schuyler Sisters called over to them from a distance. In the lead was Angelica, striding towards them confidently. Behind her was Peggy, who was quickly tapping away on her phone, and just a few steps behind were Eliza and Maria, hand in hand and talking very closely with each other.

Alex smiled as he saw his friends approach and left to meet them halfway. “Angelica!” He exclaimed. Angelica, who was much taller than Alex, looked down at him and smiled hugely.

“Alexander!” she exclaimed, going to hug him. “How have you been? Not drowning yourself in work I hope.”

Alex brushed off that last bit, smiling. “I’ve been good! Busy, of course. How’re you?”

Angelica started walking with him back towards the rest of the group. “Oh Alexander, you know me! Always busy myself! Working towards being a TA.” She smiled.

“Alex! Alexander!” Eliza called from behind, pulling Maria along with her so they could catch up. “ I didn’t know you were coming!”

Alexander’s smile only got bigger. “Eliza, dearest!” He said excitedly, giving her a one-armed hug. “I’m glad I get to see you! Listen, did you go to Mr. Greene’s class the other day? I wanted to talk to  _ someone  _ about the lecture he gave about continental transgressions throughout history. Can you believe what happened when-”

“Alex, sweetheart, I know you’re excited but can it wait until after the protest?” Eliza said, smiling kindly.

Alex huffed, “But then you’ll be too tired to listen.”

“How about tomorrow then? Because I was there for the whole lecture, we don’t need to go into detail.”

Alex raised his eyebrows, “Yes we do, Eliza! This is important information we need to know and discuss for the betterment of America’s  _ future.” _

Angelica laughed, “Alexander! Come now, we’re doing enough of that tonight!”

Alexander opened his mouth to argue but Angelica held up a finger to silence him. “Nuh-uh. We’re going protesting. We don’t need anymore justice talk tonight besides what we’ll be spilling at the rally.”

Alex huffed. “Ok, ok fine.”

“Damn, Angie, didn’t know our Alex had it in him to be quiet for more than five seconds.” Hercules joked as they all met up.

Alex scoffed, “Don’t test me, Herc. I know where your dorm is.” he threatened.

“Shit, you do... don’t you?” Hercules sighed dramatically. “No rest for the wicked, I guess.”

John, who had been texting, looked up. “Burr said he’ll meet us at the rally, so we should just head on out without him.” he said, stuffing his phone back in his pocket. “Alright, so that’s everyone then! Herc, buddy, where are you parked?”

“Oh, over...” He paused, thinking, then pointed to one of the closer parking lots. “That way.”

So they all made their way to Herc’s car. They piled into the SUV: Herc and Laf up front, Angelica, Peggy, and Maria in the backseat. John, Alex, and Eliza in the last row.

The whole ride, everyone except for Laf and Herc were squished uncomfortably close to each other, though Alex didn’t mind getting squeezed up close to John. They all talked and laughed and when a Lady Gaga song came on the radio, Hercules turned up the volume and they all sang along to the lyrics as obnoxiously as possible, resulting in more laughing.

The rally, when they finally got there, was a lot bigger than Alexander Hamilton expected. He knew there would be at least a hundred or so people protesting the bathroom rights in North Carolina, but this was  _ hundreds  _ of people! Alex had to take a minute to mentally prepare himself for the crowd after seeing all the people show up!

After about thirty minutes of waiting and texting, Aaron Burr showed up. He found Alex and his friends on the outskirts of the protesting crowd.

“Alexander! It’s a pleasure to get to see you again.” Aaron said, smiling pleasantly.

Alexander eyed his…  acquaintance. He didn’t know Burr well at all. He’s talked to him a couple of times, but each time Burr didn’t really let on about anything he liked or disliked. Maybe he was just shy or didn’t open up easily, something Alex could definitely relate to.

Either way, Alex wasn’t going to be rude, and he smiled back at Aaron. “Hi, glad you could make it. I was a bit shocked when John said you would be coming; I didn’t think you two knew each other?”

Aaron nodded, “Oh, he’s in one of my classes. He thought I would like to come, seeing as my gender identity differs from the norm, and I took him up on his offer.”

“Uh-huh.” Alex mumbled, pursing his lips, “Anyway, we’re over there, you see them?”

Aaron, who was a few feet taller than Alex, looked over his shoulder, “Oh yes. I can see John roughhousing with his friends.”

Alex turned and saw John climbing onto Herc’s back while Hercules dangled his phone out of the smaller man’s reach. It was actually quite funny looking. Laf was laughing his ass off while taking a video with his own phone. Alex rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Hercules, give John his phone!” Alex called out, laughing a bit.

“Listen to Alexander, Herc! I need that fucking thing to  _ survive. _ ” John yelled, his fingertips barely reaching to where Herc held his phone.

Hercules laughed, hunching and making John fall from off his back, as Laf went around to catch him, making sure that John didn’t topple onto the ground. Hercules turned around and handed John his phone, still laughing.

“That was a nice effort, maybe next time.” Hercules Joked.

John punched him in the arm, stuffing his phone back into his pocket, “You’re lucky you’re my friend, asshole.”

Alex glanced back at Aaron, who was smiling fondly at the three others goofing off. 

“Now, is this a protest, or no?” Aaron said, grinning down at Alex, who smiled back.

“Yeah,” Alex said, then more excitedly. “Yeah! Come on everybody! Let’s protest our asses off!” He exclaimed, running over to his friends.

Peggy, who had not said much of anything on the ride over, jumped up with excitement. “Yes! Yes! Let’s do this! Alexander! Aaron! We are going to kick this rally’s ass!” She said excitedly. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

Angelica laughed, “Peggy, darling sister!” she teased, “It’s a peaceful protest, we are not kicking anyone’s ass.”

“Not with that attitude,” Alex interjected.

They all laughed. John placed his arm around Alex’s shoulders and drew him in close, making Alex’s heart do a backflip of joy. “Let’s go everybody!” John cheered, “To peacefully protest, and beyond!”

The rest of the night was a blur for Alexander. He remembered walking along with the crowd, arms around his friends and chanting for the rights of the trans people in North Carolina. He remembered John being close to him; the heat they shared between their bodies and the thrill Alex felt every time John pulled him close. He remembered all of his friends locked together in camaraderie and love and excitement.

When they finally left and drove back to the dorms, everyone was mostly silent. Alex remembered falling asleep against John’s shoulder, being exhausted from the day’s events; and the protest and how much he yelled and sang and chanted.

Alexander went to bed late, remembering few details, but maintaining so many feelings over the night’s course of events.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter is up! Yay! I hope you guys like this one, it was just introducing a lot of characters and getting some stuff out of the way so that the rest of the story can move a lot faster! Chapter three will be up next week! 
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful editor on Tumblr, Badly-Salted-Pretzel for making this chapter sound amazing!


	3. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I was a little kid and my mom was still alive, I would run around my small little island and play with the other children. When it rained, and it did that often, we would play in the mud and throw it at each other.” Alex said quietly, looking down at his hands.

A library is one of the best places on the face of planet earth. It was quiet and peaceful and full of _books._ Books were probably the single greatest thing for a hungry mind, such as Alex, eager to learn. On top of it all, no one bothered him while he was in there. He could read for hours on end without so much as a peep from someone else trying to talk to him. The library was a quiet place and everyone followed that rule.

Alex would happily spend hours and hours in the library. Doing his homework, taking breaks to read a new book he found, doing more homework, writing an article about the outdated methods of the electoral college on the side, and reading some more. If there was one thing Alex loved more than writing– and he wrote almost constantly– it was reading.

However, Alex worked at such a hurried pace that he finished his homework only two hours of being in the library, which was very satisfying. Now he could spend the rest of the time reading his books.

After three hours of pressing his nose into a book he was jolted from his concentration by the sound of a scraping chair at the table he was seated at. He looked up from his book to see that his friend, Peggy, was setting down her things. Alex smiled, putting the book he was reading down and waiting for Peggy to settle down before greeting her.

“Hey Peggy,” Alex whispered. “How’s it going?”

“Oh, you know, it’s going.” She replied quietly, pulling a book from her bag. “Just got out of a class, thought I’d come here and do some homework.” Peggy shuffled through her backpack and pulled out a notebook and her laptop. “I saw you sitting over here and I thought I could keep you company.”

Putting a hand over his book, Alexander laughed quietly. “Well thanks Peggster.”  Peggy  smiled at the cute nickname. “I’m just reading, so I might just be silent for awhile.”

Peggy smiled, “That’s fine. I just enjoy the company.”

So they sat in silence; Peggy occasionally muttering to herself while doing her homework and Alex just being completely absorbed into his book.

Another two hours passed before Peggy slumped in her chair and sighed dramatically. Alexander lowered his book.

“Homework giving you trouble?” Alex asked, amused.

“You have no idea,” Peggy rolled her eyes as she leaned forward in her seat. “And it’s not like my teacher makes it easy or anything. We have to research culture across the world in lesser known regions, which doesn’t sound bad until you realize that there is barely any information on the stuff that I’m looking for. And we have to have at least ten sources.” She groaned, burying her head in her hands, “I’m too stupid for college, Alex.”

Alex scooted forward. “Hey, no don’t say that. Peggy, you’re so fucking smart, don’t get me started on how brilliant you are. I could go on for hours!Now here–” Smiling encouragingly, he got up and walked over to her. “–have you tried searching the school’s website for information? You just have to go to the online library and I’m sure there’ll be a ton of scholarly research papers on hand for you. You just gotta know where to look.”

Peggy looked up at him and shrugged, “I haven’t looked on the website… I didn’t even know I could do that.”

“It’s this neat little trick I learned. The papers you find on the website are phenomenal, and they are great sources to put in your works cited page.”

Smiling, peggy leaned back, “Oh my god, thank you so much! Can you show me where it is?”

“Sure!” Alex agreed, kneeling down by her seat and grabbing her laptop and pulling it toward him. A few seconds later he had the school’s online library pulled up on the screen. He handed the laptop back to his friend, “Just type in keywords and you should find what you’re looking for in no time.”

“Oh thank you, Alex!” She squealed happily, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him. “You’re the best!”

Alex laughed, pulling away from the hug, “Well yeah, obviously!” For that, Peggy punched him in the arm softly. “What? It’s true.” He taunted playfully, getting up to return to his stuff. He picked up his phone and checked the time. “Oh shit! Peggy, I’m sorry I gotta run like this, but I have a night class I gotta get to.”

“Don’t worry about me, you’ve helped a bunch. Now go to your class, I’ll see you later!” Peggy replied, turning her attention back to her laptop and typing away.

Huffing a sigh of relief, he gathered his things, and shoving them into his backpack. “You’re amazing, thanks Peggster,” He said, slinging his bag over his shoulders. They waved goodbye before Hamilton dashed off for his night class.

\---------------------------------

The halls were silent as Alexander crept back to his dorm room after his last class of the night. He trudged along, exhausted and eager to collapse in bed despite knowing that would have to wait.. He took out his phone and checked the time, sighing as he saw that it was barely nine o’clock. Alex would have to wait at least a couple of more hours before it was safe to go to the local gym and start working out. The less people were there, the better.

Alexander arrived at his dorm room and slouched inside. He let his backpack slip off and tenderly rubbed at his aching shoulders, trying to soothe the dull soreness that was there. Quickly, Alex removed his shirt and binder, smiling with relief at the sensation of being able to breathe again. He walked over to his desk and plopped down in his chair, stretching his back which cracked deliciously. Stretching to relieve some of the tension in his back, Alex hummed happily, staring up at the ceiling.

The gym was a long wait away and Alex would have to kill some time before going. He looked back over at his backpack, which contained his laptop. A movie could certainly ease some of the boredom he felt. Alex shrugged, “Why not.” He muttered to himself before getting up, grabbing his laptop from his bag and walking back to the desk. He opened it up and went straight to netflix, pulling up _Lilo & Stitch. _

Relaxing in his seat, Alexander folded his hands in his lap and let himself get lost in the plot.

As soon as the credits started to roll, Alexander yawned. He closed out of netflix and checked the time. Ten-thirty, perfect. Nodding in approval, he closed the laptop and began to gather his things.

Immediately, He was out of his dorm room, dressed in a tank top, sports bra, and sweatpants.

When he arrived he was pleased to see that not a lot of people were here– perhaps two– and they were in the far corner with their headphones plugged in. Alex made his way over to one of the many weight lifting machines and began his workout.

An hour later, exhausted and sweaty, Alex breathed a sigh of relief as he finished his last bit of exercising. Wiping his forehead of sweat, he put away the last of the equipment and made his way to the showers. He stripped quickly, showered hurriedly, and was dressed and out of the gym and back on his way to his dorm room. Another night spent successfully at the gym! Now he could go back home to collapse on his bed and sleep until his class tomorrow.

\----------------------------

“I don’t mean to interrupt sir, but do you really think that the congress really has a say anymore about this certain law pertaining-”

“As we all know, _Alexander_ , congress has ultimate authority-”

“Jefferson, I really hope you’re not as dumb as you look to actually think that the congress has any right to make a law against the use of-”

“Using petty insults to win an argument is beneath you, Hamilton. The social institutions-”

“This has nothing to do with social institutions, this has to do with the rights a woman has to her own _body._ How could you deny that right to anyone?”

“Boys! Boys please!” An exasperated Washington cut in, having watched Alexander and Thomas argue back and forth for the past ten minutes. “I have a class to teach, and you’re hindering everyone else’s learning experience. The more you two argue, the more homework there is for everyone here.”

“Yeah!” A few people chorused from behind Thomas and Alex. Both of them sat down angrily, arms crossed and heads down.

“Now, as I was saying…” Washington began, turning back to the chalkboard. Alexander glared down into his lap while he let Washington’s voice drone on. Meanwhile trying to control his anger over not being able to finish his argument with Jefferson.

Suddenly, he felt a tap on his left arm and he looked over at John, who was sat beside him.

“Hey, you alright?” John whispered as quietly as he could.

Alexander shrugged, “You know I’m right, right?” He asked his friend.

“Yes of course,” John murmured, “Thomas is a bonafide idiot and you shouldn’t have to give him the time of day.”

Alex smiled and then jumped slightly in his seat when he felt Thomas tapping his arm. He whipped around, anger resurfacing, when he noticed that Thomas was holding a folded note. Hamilton huffed and ripped the note out of Thomas’ hand and unfolded it to read what it said.

‘ _You should learn when to quit._ ’

He glared down at the note, gripping it tightly in his hands. Thomas was asking for a fight, and Alex was going to give it to him. John leaned over to read what it said, and Alex could hear him inhale sharply. Alex scrambled for his pencil, scribbling: ‘ _You should learn to not be a fucking idiot_ ’.

John touched his arm, looking concerned. “Alex, don’t-” but before John could finish what he was saying, Alex was angrily crumpling the note and throwing it back at Jefferson.

Thomas glanced over at Alex before he unfolded the letter. Chuckling like he had just heard an amusing joke, he grabbed his pencil and wrote out his reply. He didn’t bother folding it back, opting to just push the paper over to Alex across his desk. What an asshole.

‘ _Have some class, Hamilton, and learn how to insult someone properly._ ’

It only got worse from there.

For the next few minutes Jefferson and Hamilton were passing angry letters back and forth, the pages riddled with insults and accusations. They started getting so hurried and angry in their movements that it caused a minor disruption in the class. Other kids who were closer to them were distracted by their constant paper shuffling and angry gestures towards one another.

Finally it caught Washington’s attention and he turned swiftly towards the two boys, slamming his fist on his desk. “Jefferson, Hamilton, leave. Now.”

Aghast, Hamilton stood from his seat, “Sir, it’s not-”

“Both of you, that wasn’t a request.” Washington barked out, glaring at both of them. Thomas was sitting back in his seat, staring at their professor incredulously. They both hesitated, glancing at one another. “I said _now._ ” Washington repeated sternly.

They didn’t need to be asked again. Both fearful of Washington’s wrath, they packed their things as quickly as they could. Alex spared a glance at John, who was looking up at him worriedly.

“I’ll see you for lunch.” Alex whispered, resting a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. John offered a smile, but Alex couldn’t find the energy to return it and was out of the classroom before he could get into any more trouble.

“Hamilton!” Thomas called as Alex stalked down the hall, fuming.

“Oh fuck _off_ , Jefferson.” Alex bit back, walking away faster. “You just couldn’t let it die, could you? Had to pass me the fucking note.”

“Not that I don’t love our banter, but this is about something else.” Thomas said, rushing up to Alexander’s side.

Alex picked up his pace, “Leave me the fuck alone for two seconds or I swear to god I will punch you in your perfect little face.”

Thomas put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to stop him from practically running down the hall but Alex’s body reacted before his brain did. He reached around, gripping Thomas’ wrist tightly and twisting it into a painful position. Thomas cried out in shock and pulled away from Alex, who let go of him immediately.

“Jesus christ Hamilton, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Thomas accused, rubbing his wrist.

Alex glared at him before turning on his heel and walking away again.

“Shit.” Thomas muttered, gathering his wits and rushing after Alex, “You’re making it really hard for me to want to apologize!”

That last word froze Alex in mid step. Lowering his foot, he turned to face Thomas who was standing a few feet away.

“Apologize for what? You never apologize.” Alex said.

Thomas paused and began tapping his foot on the ground. Alex watched him, waiting for him to say something else, but when Thomas remained silent, Alex turned around again, ready to take off for his dorm so he could wait for John to get out of class.

“Wait, shit.” Thomas muttered, taking a couple of steps closer to Hamilton. “Listen. I hate you.”

“Nice apology.” Alex replied sarcastically, turning around.

“For fuck’s sake let me finish.” Thomas spat at him. Alex decided to play along and motioned for Thomas to continue. “You’re loud and way too opinionated and really obnoxious but–” Thomas said hurriedly, pausing and shifting his gaze to the wall, “–But that doesn’t mean it’s right for me to…. misgender you… All the time.”

Alexander blinked at Thomas, frowning in confusion. “What?”

“James noticed it, me calling you a girl all the time.” Thomas went on to explain, “Apparently no matter how much I hate your guts, I shouldn’t call you a girl at all. It’d be like if you called me a girl. I wouldn’t like that one bit.” Thomas crossed his arms. “We had a conversation about it. He told me I needed to apologize to you.”

“So you’re only apologizing to me because Madison told you to? How sweet.” Alex said bitterly.

“What? No! No, that’s not what I’m getting at here. I realized I was in the wrong for once. I didn’t think about how it would make you feel and I’m…. _sorry.”_ Thomas apologized, saying the last word slowly as if it was the first time he had ever said it.

Alex didn’t know what to say or do. Thomas Jefferson was actually apologizing for constantly misgendering him. It was a really surreal feeling for Alex. Of all the countless times that Jefferson purposely misgendered him, constantly calling him out before and after the classes they had together, it was hard for Alex to fathom that he was actually apologizing.

Alex looked up at Thomas who was staring determinedly down at his shoes. Alex cleared his throat, causing Thomas to snap his head back up to look at him.

“Uh…” Alex began, blushing. “Thank you,” He said simply. “Your timing could use some work though.”

Thomas barked out a laugh, making Alex jump in surprise, “Hamilton, when are we not fighting? This is the best I could do. I hope you’re happy now.”

Alex glanced around the hall, “Right. Thanks again…” He muttered. Their eyes met for a second, Thomas’ glare softening slightly and Alex furrowing his brows in confusion. Stunned, Alex was at a loss for what to say to Thomas. The hatred was still there, but he was just shocked into silence at the sudden apology. Alex nodded at Jefferson before spinning around and walking as quickly as he could away from that awkward situation, praying that Jefferson did not follow after him again.

Lunch couldn’t come quick enough.

\------------------------------

“He said he was sorry?” John asked around a mouthful of his sandwich.

Alexander and John had found each other as soon as Washington’s class was over. Alex had dragged John to a more secluded part of the dining hall after getting their food and while he ate, Alex told him all that had happened after he and Thomas got kicked out of class.

“Yeah!” Alex exclaimed, then lowering his voice as he went on, “He was really condescending at first, like it was my fault that he hadn’t apologized?” At that, John rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I know. Anyway he gave me a genuine apology, and I didn’t know what to say except, ‘Your timing could use work’.” Alexander confessed.

John burst out laughing, covering his mouth so he didn’t spray food everywhere. He got control of himself quickly and wiped his mouth. “Only you, Alexander.” John laughed, putting down his sandwich that he still held in his hand. “Well what happened next?”

“Uh, well, he said that we were always fighting so he couldn’t really have timed it better, so I just said ‘Thanks again’ and fucking _ran._ Oh my god, John, it was so awkward.” Alex moaned, burying his face in his hands.

John reached forward and patted Alex on the head. “There there,” John comforted, “Just think, at least he won’t misgender you anymore. Y’all can argue to your heart’s content and he won’t ever bring up your identity.”

Alex lifted his head to look at John. “I guess you’re right,” He mumbled. “Anyway I should be going, I’ve got Lee’s class up next.”

“Good luck,” said John, quickly finishing off his sandwich, “Text me for anymore updates?”

“Oh I will, trust me.” Alex sighed, grabbing his things and parting from John.

\------------------------------

A couple of weeks had gone by after Alex’s and Thomas’ confrontation. Everything proceeded as normal. They still fought constantly. And still avoided each other in the halls. Thomas was still a giant asshole. They still hated each other.

Except that Thomas had _apologized_. Alex couldn’t get it out of his head. Everytime he looked at Thomas or yelled at him or wrote him an angry letter, he couldn’t forget that he had apologized. Even Thomas acted a bit differently. Not by much, but Alex could see it. He avoided looking at Alex more often, he seemed to get more flustered around him, and he didn’t rise to the bait Alex would set as often.

Who knew a simple apology could change how you looked at someone?

It was a Wednesday when they had another confrontation. Alex was getting out of one of his classes, his last class of the day in fact, and was headed to his room to do his homework. He pulled out a book from his backpack, slinging it haphazardly to his front while he walked and unzipped it. Digging through the mess while dodging students and faculty before successfully yanking the book he desired out of his bag. Alex zipped it back up and slung it back over his shoulder and immediately opened the book, still walking, and began reading. It was a new one, from the library, and he was already enthralled. The writing style and story was phenomenal and he could hardly put the book down.

That was until he actually knocked into someone who was exiting a class room. Alex stumbled back, dropping his book. Immediately, he began apologizing, bending over and grabbing his book. When he looked up, however, he froze. Jefferson stood before him, staring down at Alex with a wild panic.

“Watch it,” Thomas growled, then paused, taking a step back to the empty classroom. “Shit,” He muttered.

Alex frowned, standing up, book in hand. “Jefferson, what’s the matter with you?” Alex asked quietly.

Thomas took a shaky breath, “Fuck off,” He spat at Alexander. Alex was affronted, stepping back a bit in shock. Jefferson had never been this venomous before.

Taking another step back into the empty classroom, Thomas began muttering to himself, his breathing picking up. Alex recognized what was happening. Thomas was having a panic attack, over what, Alex didn’t know. Thomas had seemed fine at the beginning of the day, jovial even. But that’s how panic attacks worked. They snuck up on you. Something must have really gotten under Thomas’ skin to have him acting like this, and Alex had half a mind to leave him to his despair.

But Alex wasn’t cruel. He knew panic attacks. He knew how awful they were, especially when no one was around to help with them. He may hate Thomas Jefferson to the moon and back, but he wasn’t going to leave him like this.

Alexander looked around the hall quickly before motioning to Thomas. “In the classroom, quick.”. Thomas was so out of it that he immediately complied. Alex followed quickly and closed the door behind them, shutting off all the background noise from the hall. It was just the two of them.

“Why the fuck would you want me in here with just you?” Thomas asked frantically, gripping his messenger bag handle so tightly that his knuckles went white.

Alex held up his hands to show that he wasn’t trying to do anything harmful. “I’m going to sit over here.” Alex said calmly, walking towards a desk and sitting on the table top. “You’re having a panic attack-”

“Yeah no fucking shit, Sherlock!” Thomas spat, trembling. “Why would you even care? I hate you, you hate me!” he laughed frantically.

Alex took a breath, trying really hard to not argue with him back. “Try and ground yourself for a second, Jefferson. What do you see in front of you right now?”

Thomas had started pacing, running a hand threw his curly hair. “I see the ground, I see the desks and the walls and _why_ do college classrooms have to be so fucking boring?”

“Ok, what do you hear?”

“The clock ticking.” Thomas replied quickly. “I hear your breathing, maybe tone it down a notch?”

Alex held his breath, glaring. “Alright. Sorry. What do you feel?”

“Nothing.” Came Thomas’ reply.

“What’s wrong?”

“Like I’m going to tell you.” Thomas said through clenched teeth. His pacing was getting more frantic and he looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

Finally Alexander sighed, “Obviously you’re determined to be a giant asshole during this. So I’ll try something else.”

“Oh my god why don’t you just fucking _leave.”_ Thomas growled.

Alex’s mouth twitched and he tried really hard to not go over there and punch Thomas in the face. “Where do I start? Oh! I know.” Alex began, “I’ll start when I was still living on Nevis.”

Thomas stopped his pacing and turned to look at Alexander, curious.

“When I was a little kid and my mom was still alive, I would run around my small little island and play with the other children. When it rained, and it did that often, we would play in the mud and throw it at each other.” Alex said quietly, looking down at his hands. “And I would get home and my mother looked like she was about to faint. She would tell me…” He paused, taking a breath, “‘Little girls shouldn’t play in the mud.’ and I would always say, ‘Then I don’t want to be a girl.’” Alexander laughed, then sighed. “I remember when she would let me lay my head in her lap and she would brush my hair from my cheek. I remember that whenever I was sad or upset that she would run her fingernails down my back, like this-” Alex motioned for Thomas to come closer, and he did. Alex opened up his palm, silently asked for Thomas’ arm, which he gave freely. Alex ran his fingernails down Jefferson’s arm softly, as light as a feather. “Like that.”

Thomas pulled his arm back to his side, but decided to take a seat in the desk next to Hamilton’s.

“She died when I was twelve, but we don’t need to talk about that.” Alex laughed, trying to hide the sadness of the sentence with humor. “Anyway before she died, she would sing to me all the time. Mothers always have the best singing voices I think.” he murmured, chancing a glance at Thomas, whose breathing had returned to normal. He seemed more interested in what Alexander had to say. “I was seventeen when I finally came to America. I’m nineteen now. I’m still not used to it to be honest.” he shrugged, “Why does there have to be a Starbucks on every corner? How much Starbucks can one human drink in a day?”

Thomas laughed, “You got me there.”

Looking over at him, Alex offered a small smile. “I would ask what it’s like to live in such a big country your entire life, but that’d be like asking a bird what it’s like to fly. Or asking someone what it’s like to walk.”

Thomas looked up at Alex. “I guess that’d be a hard question to answer,” he mused, “Road trips are a fucking nightmare.”

Alex laughed, a true genuine laugh. Thomas smiled at him before he diverted his gaze and cleared his throat. “Uh… Hmm.” Thomas said, “Well would you look at that, I’m not panicking anymore.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Alex replied, “Is it ok if I ask what was wrong?”

There was a pause before Thomas nodded, “Yeah. I’m sorry. I just. Got a bad grade… And a bunch of other stuff. It’s all been adding up and I think the F I got on my last test pushed me over the edge. And James couldn’t come help, he’s in a class of his own.” Thomas bit his bottom lip. “So… Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary, I’ve been in that position, and it’s terrible.”

Standing up from his seat in the desk, Thomas straightened his clothes. “I should be going back to my dorm.”

Alex hopped off his perch from the table top and grabbed his bag. “I’ll probably see you next week then?”

They both stared at each other before Thomas nodded, “Yeah. See you in class Monday.”

And just like that, they were out of each other’s hair, both on their way to their respective dorms.

Monday came around too quickly for both of them. Alexander was early to class and Thomas was in soon after him. They shared eye contact but didn’t say anything to each other. Thomas took his usual seat right next to Alexander and they sat in awkward silence until John waltz into the room. Alex had already told him what had happened the previous week, and John was more shocked than anything that Alex actually took the time to help calm Jefferson down.

John plopped right next to Alexander and they chatted quietly about nonsense things before the rest of the class filed in and Washington entered shortly after. The class went by smoothly. Anytime that Alex had a question or statement, Thomas would still argue, but this time he waited until Alex was done making his point, and Alex did the same for Thomas.

When class was over, Thomas rested a hand on Alexander’s shoulder, grabbing his attention. “Hey, thanks for all the insight.”

“Yeah. You too. You brought up some good points.” He said carefully, furrowing his brow.

They stayed like that for a second longer before Thomas yanked his hand back to his side as if he had been burned. “See you later then.”

“Yeah,” Alex replied before turning to John.

“Ok, what the _hell_ was that?” John asked, looking between Alexander and the door where Thomas had just left through.

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t be serious! That– That whole… Exchange between you two? You’re not going to bring that up?” John exclaimed. Alex shook his head, gathering his things into his bag and swinging it over his shoulder. John did the same and they left the class.

“I honestly have no fucking idea,” Alex groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in agitation. “I guess we’re nice to each other now?”

“Yeah I fuckin’ guess so,” He laughed, draping an arm around Alexander’s shoulders. “How long do you think until you two are at each other’s throats again?”

“I give it a week before he says something that I don’t like.”

“You have so much faith in yourself, Alex. I’m actually impressed.” John teased, getting a punch in the arm in return. “What? It’s true. You’re small and feisty.”

“I can’t argue with facts.”

They both laughed, leaving behind Washington’s class and making their way to the dining hall. Alex couldn’t stop thinking about Thomas though, and how unlikely it was that they could ever actually be friends.

Life always had a way of proving him wrong.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally chapter three is up! Sorry this one is a week late, I had a lot of stuff going on but I hope that next week we'll have another chapter up! 
> 
> And Thomas and Alex are finally starting to become friends! Slowly and awkwardly, but they're doing it.
> 
> Check out my tumblr! Lozeyart
> 
> Check out my my editors tumblr! Badly-Salted-Pretzel


	4. Update

Just a small update!

I'm sorry I haven't posted a chapter in awhile. I injured my hand and it hurt to type and then as soon as I healed, I got extremely sick.

I'm still sick and now the holidays are right around the corner. I promise that as soon as I get better and all this hectic craziness ends, I'll get back to writing chapters!

Thank you for your patience!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! My goodness, it has been a hot minute since I've written a fic! I hope everyone enjoyed it!
> 
> Just so everyone isn't totally confused, Kings College changed its name after the revolution (exactly when I don't know) To Columbia University. Since this is a modern AU, I decided to stick with Columbia Uni. as the name of the college that Alex and his pals go to.
> 
> Look forward for more fics soon! I plan on a weekly update schedule! Also this is a multi chapter fic, currently undetermined.
> 
> Want to find me on tumblr? http://lozey-artblog.tumblr.com/
> 
> Be good <3


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